Forging a conspiracy theory

Stephen King got the title from his song Instant Karma! (We All Shine On).

Jack is John (“Heeeere’s Johnny!”), Wendy is Yoko Ono, and Danny is Paul McCartney. Tony, Danny’s imaginary friend, is the original Paul that presumably died and was secretly replaced.

The Overlook Hotel represents John trying to navigate life after The Beatles breakup. Though he is past his prime and will no longer play the game, he makes himself a dull boy. Jack gets distressed, though, when his muse — the light of his life — keeps him from being able to just…

On a recent visit to New York City, I found myself in Lower Manhattan looking for a bathroom. Hoping to find a suitable place to have a quiet beer, a yellow O’Hara’s sign beamed nearby. Inside, I called a fellow patron “Sir” and he asked me where I was from. I asked him the same. “Right here,” he said, pointing at our feet. For most of his life, he has lived across the street from the World Trade Center in a building that remained standing after 9/11. Being from a small town, I don’t expect residents of large cities to…

I have a serious question: Did anyone actually think @thefatjewish created original content? Show of hands? Wow, that many. Well, he doesn’t — as far as his Instagram account is concerned — and he most certainly doesn’t deserve merit for recycling content created by more clever people.

The internet is strange; it’s a cesspool where we often feel obliged to do whatever we want. When a riot breaks out in a city, looters trash bodegas to pilfer anything tasty, colorful or appealing. Nobody’s looking. It’s free. Just take it.

In 2011, I started a website called Honest Slogans. I was…

We’re not sure who could contain their impulse to see What These 4 People Commented On This Facebook Post, so here’s a Verizon® Wireless Ad Mention Thing to further stimulate your brain to click/tap/swipe/touch/pinch this link it will change your life omg.

1. Chris

Zing! Can you believe he said that?! *See-No-Evil Monkey Emoji*

*A True (Ghost?) Story: I am not insane, thank you.

Please hear me out. I know this is an absurd claim, but if you have the patience to read this, you’ll be in for a treat. No trick! I have always been of the sort that enjoys a good scare, specifically around Halloween; I grew up an avid lover of the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark series (Those illustrations still nostalgically haunt my dreams), and nothing gets me going like a good ghost story. That being said, I feel that there is a time and place for such…

1. What people think of you on the internet– Who cares? Pay more attention to the people in your personal life.

2. How many followers you have on Twitter – Did you know people actually pay to get followers? Let’s stop pretending a follower count is important.

3. If a celebrity replies to your tweet – They’re just humans that happen to be in front of cameras on occasion. Pandering to them to get a retweet or a mention isn’t worth anything.

4. How many Likes you get on a Facebook status – It’s the byproduct of people passively clicking/tapping…

Near the end of 2011, I was at a restaurant with a friend. As one is wont to do, I ordered a Coke from the waitress since it was much more preferable over the Pepsi counterpart (In my opinion—but in everybody’s opinion, right?). Just as I was getting the last syllables of the request out of my mouth, the waitress apologetically yet automatically said, “We don’t have Coke. Is Pepsi okay?” I jokingly theorized what it would be like if Pepsi were to actually run a campaign of this sort of brutal honesty. It was quite obvious to me that…

Clif Dickens

graphic designer, writer, person. honestslogans.com | clifwith1f.com

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